Eugene Mirman

My own personal God, Eugene Mirman, is the most incredible deity to roam this land. With a beautiful voice, a Shrexy body, and the mind of a dolphin. He recently released an album called "I'm sorry (You're Welcome)" which consists of 451 songs, 45 minutes of crying, 195 orgasms, and songs called things like: "The time I was mugged in Mexico with Michael Stripe" and "Guilty Catholics have to marry each other" and "Man walking in boots". This album was released October 30th and can be bought on Vinyl or digital. Eugene is more commonly know for his role as Gene in Bob's Burgers, but is also known for a role as a mob boss in Delocated.  When this Godly man is not acting he does stand up comedy and is fairly famous for it. I decided to create Photoshops of his beautiful face to show my devotion to our lord and savior, Eugene Mirman.

This week I created two photos, both of them are slightly low resolution because I could not find any HD photos of his face. For the first photo that I made, I found a picture of Eugene staring at the camera looking slightly confused. Then I went in and I found an image of blood and made it leak from his left eye. Next I selected his nose and copy and pasted it three extra times. After that I went and selected the burn tool on a opacity of 47%. I carefully went around his eyes to make it look like he had been punched and then blended it all in.

For the Second photo I made, I found a picture of Eugene with his thumb up. Next I selected his neck folds and copied them two times. Then I blended those in using the eraser at 27% so that it made his mouth and nose disappear. After That I selected his head and copied and pasted in onto the area where his hand would be and altered the size of it so that is was proportionate. Then I blended it in using an eraser at 35% and made it look "realistic".

Dr. Phil

       Phillip Calvin McGraw, is a psychologist, author, and has his own show called "Dr. Phil". Dr. Phil is like the male version of Opera. He has a talk show where he talks to people about political issues and if they killed there wife or not.  At one point in his career he even teamed up with Opera to win a lawsuit called the Amarillo Texas Beef Trial. After that he reappeared on Opera's show many more times and got more well known by the crowds. About a year later, Dr. Phil wrote about Life Strategies. Then in 2002 he started his show where he consults people about their life problems. In 2003 he entered the weight loss business, where he sold energy shakes, bars and juices. I think Dr. Phil is already a pretty strange looking man but I have chosen to enhance his weirdness tenfold through a magical little thing called Photoshop.

       The first thing I did while creating this photo was copy and paste Dr. Phil's mustache twice. Then I moved both copies up onto his eyebrows and made a unibrow out of them. after I blended them in correctly I copied and pasted his chin so that it looked like the top of his head. Next I took the burn tool and selected the mode shadow on 35% exposer and made it look like he had two black eyes and a bruised nose. After that I copied and pasted his chin two more times and made it look like he had a triple chin. After blending that in I selected the burn tool again and ran over the whole picture with it on 10% exposer.  The I took the exposer all the way up to 100% and wend over his eyes so that the middle of his eye was black. Next I took the burn tool and I made it look like he was bleeding from his lip by using a very small brush setting. After that I selected all layers and went into liquify mode. Then I made his eyes bulge and made his mouth smaller. Then I was finished.

Before Photo

After Photo

Diabolic Hillary Clinton

This week I don't have much to say about the actual person I am Photoshopping, I have more to say about my sanity... While creating this photo I questioned if I had tapped into a diabolic power and birthed this awful abomination. This masterpiece is questionably the most horrifying piece of work I have produced from my strange consciousness . It slithered from the darkest parts of hell on a quick path to my open mind and expelled itself from my fingers. As I drifted back into sanity, I glanced upon my computer screen and realized I had produced an atrocity so horrifying even I could not stand it.

The first thing I did while creating this horror was copy and paste the mouth five times. Then I lined the photos up in order but slightly lower on each photo. After that I merged the photos together and blended the uneven lips as well as I could. Next I took her left eye and tilted it at about a 95 degree angle, then I blended it in. After that I found an image of blood dripping and cut it out and than copied and pasted on her right eye. I made it look like it was dripping down her face by using the warp tool to bend it. Next I copied and pasted her teeth upside down and used the warp to match them up with her lower lip. Then I copied and pasted her neck folds twice and replaced her chin with them. After that I took a section of her cheek and covered her ear with it, then I copied and pasted her right eye and flipped it at a 90 degree angle. After blending everything in I added a couple of wrinkles on her cheeks and erased all the jagged edges. Then I was finished with this abomination.

Before Photo

After Photo

Tom Cruise

Tom Cruise is a very famous American actor who recently starred in the newest Mission Impossible. Before Tom Cruise started his career as an actor he wanted to become a Priest. He is still a very strict Catholic and strongly believes in his ways. In 2003 Tom Cruise starred in the movie The Last Samurai,  Tom Cruise is reportedly very close with Japan and travels there a lot. Because of Tome Cruises deep devotion to Japan, the Japanese Memorial Day Association rewarded Tom Cruise with his celebratory day to honor him. Tom Cruise was born a Christian but later on in his life he converted to Scientology. Due to Tom Cruise's firm belief in Scientology his 14 year-long partnership with Paramount Pictures has come to an end because a huge discrepancy between them. Tom Cruise even has a page made about him called http://www.tomcruiseisnuts.com/ Some people believe he is truly nuts.

The first thing I did while making this photo was find four High Definition photos of Tom Cruise and then cut them out. After that I took the biggest photo and I copied an pasted his mouth but enlarged. After I correctly placed it I copied and pasted his eye so that it looked like he had a third eye. Next I copied and pasted his nose but also enlarged.  After that I combined all the photos onto an black  background and adjusted the tone to all of the photos so they fit in. Here is the final product.

Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson

Dwayne "the Rock" Johnson is an actor and used to be a pro wrestler which is where he got his name The Rock. Some people love him as an actor I personally think he is an awful performer. I think that one of his worst movies is The Tooth Fairy.  Rotten Tomatoes rated this movie at an astonishing 18%. Even though he is in more than a few gag-worthy movies he is apparently a fairly good writer. In 2000 he wrote an autobiography called The Rock Says that was #1 for several weeks on the New York Times Best Seller list. The Rock recently went on a Diet that consists of seven meals a day, 14 egg whites, 3 pounds of meat, and a cup of lions blood to top it all off. Dwayne Johnson is not only a weird actor he is also a strange looking actor. I accomplished this goal as you can see below.

The firs thing I did while creating this picture was find a HD photo of Stonehenge. Then I found nine photos of The Rocks body and cut out the edges of each one of them. After that I copied and pasted every single image into the Stonehenge document and blended the photo together with the Auto Color tool. I also found a picture of a small rock and a picture of The Rock's faces and blended those two photos together to show a common play on words associated with Dwayne Johnson's wresting name. Here is the final product.

Kanye West

Kanye west is a Rapper and song writer, he is fairly famous and is liked by many but I personally do not like him. I dislike him for many reasons including the fact that he is a huge Narcissist and doesn't really care about the rest of the world. another reason why I dislike him is because he is married to Kim Kardashian and named his child "North West". Kanye was once spotted wearing a confederate flag on his jacket and is now considered by many as a confederate supporter. Recently Kanye announced that he was going to run for president in 2020. Whether there is truth to this statement or not, I think that it would be a crazy decision to vote for Kanye. Almost as insane as voting for Donald Trump. I am devoting this blog post to Kanye's potential presidential campaign.

The first thing I did while creating this photo was flip Kanye's head upside down. Then I copied and pasted his mustache and mouth onto the upside down forehead and erased the jagged edges. After that I selected both eyes and copied and pasted them except at a different angle and a enlarged size. Next I erased the edges around the eyes using an eraser at 35% so that the eyes blended in. Then I copied and pasted his left eyebrow and positioned it in away where it looks like a unibrow. After that I erased the overlapping eyebrow with a 42% percent opacity eraser and made it blend in. Then I merged all the layers together and copied and pasted them into picture of a confederate flag. Then I wrote "Vote Kanye 2020" and made a few adjustments to the font. After touching up a few of the edges the masterpiece was complete.

Here is the Before:

Here is the after:

Shia Labeouf

Shia LaBeouf is a very strange man who has done some strange things with his life. His most recent publicity stunt was making a motivational video called "Just Do It!!" Shia Leboeuf has starred in many famous movies including three of the Transformers and a movie called Nymphomaniac Volume I. The way that Shia LaBeouf got the role in Nymphomaniac Volume I was by emailing the producers a dick pic. Somehow this got him the role... Shia LaBeouf has done many other strange things with his life including getting arrested for trespassing at a Walgreens and Head-butting a random dude in a bar. He a has also allegedly threatened his neighbor with a knife.  Even though Shia LaBeouf has done all these weird things I have decided to make him even weirder, through the lovely application Photoshop.

The first thing I did while making this photo was find a photo of a Chihuahua and a picture of Shia LaBeouf's face and combine them. After that I put the image into a picture of a grassy field and blended it all in. Then I went and found a picture of the Teletubbies and added it into the grassy field. Next I went online and found four separate photos of Shia LaBeouf's face (One for every Teletubbie).
Then I blended those photos onto the Teletubbie's bodies and erased the jagged edges. After that I found a photo of the creepy Teletubbie sun and added another photo of Shia LaBeouf's face onto it. Then I searched "Shia LaBeouf yoga" and selected the second photo that popped up. Then I cut out the edges around that photo and made it blend into the grassy field. And last but not least I added some words into the sky to give it a finishing touch. Then my masterpiece was complete.

Pitbull

Pitbull is an odd-looking rapper who has the tendency to say " This is worldwide" in every single song that he produces. Pitbull is an incredibly bald man who chooses to embrace his Latino heritage and also say "Ono, dos, tres" over and over.  Pitbull has about a 50 million dollar net worth which is surprising considering he is ranked by "Miami New Times" as the ninth worst rapper of all time. I chose to Photoshop Pitbull because, first off his name is Pitbull, and secondly because he looks so strange and I was wondering if I could make him look weirder. I have accomplished this great feat, look below to see the final product and how I made it.

1. I started by finding a HD photo of a pitbull and a photo of Pitbull sticking his tongue out. After that I blended the two photos together by expanding Pitbull's face to fit on the dog and then erasing the edges so it looks blended in. Next I found a very clear photo of Pitbull's face and flipped it upside down. Then I had to put that flipped head on a standing up body so I found another HD photo of pitbull and removed the head from that. After that I placed the upside-down head on the new body and merged the two layers together. Then I blended the two photos together and put them on a nice grassy background where the pitbull fit in. Then the masterpiece was finally completed.

Donald Trump

I believe that Donald Trump is a vegetable, specifically a piece of corn. He has the brain of a piece of corn, he has the hair of a corn stalk, and teeth like corn kernels. I personally have no idea why people are even considering this sub-human man-vegetable as a president. This man is extremely racially prodigious and has ridiculous ideas on what he would do as president. I legitimately don't understand why anyone sensible would vote for this man, the few who love him are probably crazy, just look at this photo below ☟ By the way this photo below is not photoshopped. Just look at the lady's face who is holding the baby! The baby is truly the only sensible one in this photo.

The reason why I have decided to photoshop is my belief that he is a sub-human man-vegetable. I believe that electing him would be like electing a vegetable, completely insensible and ridiculous.
completely

1. The first thing I did while making this photoshop was find a "lovely" High Definition photo of Donald Trump and select his mouth and the area about an inch around his mouth, after I did that I copy and pasted his mouth twice. Then I moved both pasted mouths to the area where his eyeballs used to be. After that I made copy and pasted his eyes onto the inside of his mouths. Then I blended everything in and altered the colors a little bit so it looked more "natural." After that I copied and pasted his mouth again and enlarged it but I placed it in the original place just much larger. Then I copied his eyebrows and pasted them in the position of a mustache and blended all of that in. Next I took a picture of a piece of corn and copied and pasted that "inside" of his ear, how I made it look like it was inside of his ear was by erasing the part of the corn that was going on the outside of his ear. After that I opened a new Photoshop tab and found a picture online of a squirrel eating a piece of corn, Then I erased the outsides of that picture and pasted Donald Tump's face on both the squirrel and the piece of corn. Next I edited the colors of his face so it would blend in with the piece of corn that it would be on and I erased parts of his face so that they would blend in with the squirrel head. Then i copy and pasted all of my work onto an "Hd CornField background" and blended a couple colors  and my masterpiece was complete.  Here is the final product. ☟

John Cena

     John Cena is a fairly odd looking fellow. He kind of reminds me of a bull dog that is really strong but incredibly stupid. John Cena mainly wrestles professionally and is a rapper. He has also played roles in three of the worst movies ever made: Fred 1, Fred 2, and Fred 3. All three of these movies make me want to barf just thinking about them but apparently this strange looking man who goes by the name of John Cena chose to be in all three. I don't know why any sane person would do this so I am going to assume that John Cena's brain was damaged from all the times his head has been bashed in, in all the professional wrestling matches experienced. Since this man is so strange I decided to photoshop him.

     The first thing I did to this photo was select his head and then enlarge it. After that I cleaned up the edges with the eraser too and make everything fit. Then I took the tiara and I edited out the white parts in the original photo to make it transparent and fit it on John Cena's enlarged head. Then I carefully cut out his left arm and pasted it back on in the correct place. After that I cleaned up the excess parts around the armpit area and made everything fit. Next I copied and pasted both of his nipples four times and cleaned up the areas around them to make them fit in.  then I copied and pasted his bellybutton twice and made it blend in. Thereafter I cleaned up the edges and added a few finishing touches, and then I was finally finished.

Gordon Ramsay

     I love Gordon Ramsay because he is such an offensive person. Another reason why he is great is because for some reason everything tastes like "Horse Shit" to him. Some of my favorite insults that Gordon Ramsay has bluntly stated are: "Sounds like the fucking weirdo on Dr. Phil!" and "At least Hitler could use an oven!!!".  Those are just a few of my favorite extremely insulting Gordon Ramsay comments. Since Gordon Ramsay is so insulting I thought I would have some fun turning into more of an abomination that he already is!!

     How I made this photo was by selecting the Gordon Ramsay's eyes and copying and pasting them four times. After that I positioned the eyes into the correct places and erased the rugged edges. The I blended the skin color to match the area behind the eyes to give them some depth and I made each eye a different color. Then I copied and pasted the mouth and did the same color adjustments and blended the edges. After that I duplicated flipped his nose upside down and erased the unnecessary parts, then I made his ears extended and made everything fit perfectly together.  Then I had completed this "Satan-Spawn".

Why to Kill a Mocking Bird is Still Being Taught

   




     The novel To Kill a Mockingbird, written by Harper Lee, is over 50 years old, and yet it is still taught in schools around the world. There are many reasons why this novel is still being taught around the world but a few of the most prominent are Racism, Gender Discrimination and, Coming of Age.

     The most prominent subject in To Kill a Mockingbird is racism.  Racism is still potent in America but not as prominent as it was during the Depression in the 1930's. One example of racism in To Kill a Mockingbird is Tom Robinson's trial. In Tom Robinson's trial there is evidence that  makes it clear that Tom Robinson did not rape Mayella Ewell. Even though there is this evidence the fully white jury decides to convict him of rape. As you read this book you realize the full extent of Racism back then and it makes you think about how racism is still coursing through our modern day society. For instance in modern day news there has been a lot of reports of racism in the police force. We still have a long way to go if we want to be fully cured of racism.

     Another reason why this book is still being taught in high schools across the country is to bring awareness to Gender Discrimination. Compared to the 1930's, we have come so far, but we still have aways to go. One example of this in our society today is wages. Studies show that women get paid 77 cents for every dollar a man makes. This is a major sign that Gender discrepancy is not fully flushed out of America's system. We have come a long way though, for instance in To Kill a Mockingbird women are not allowed to be in the Jury and they also couldn't vote. We still have a long way to go until everything is equal.

     Last but not least To Kill a Mockingbird is a coming of age novel for many reasons. The most prominent of these reasons is the process of little innocent Scout Finch becoming mature by learning about racism and gender discrimination. Another reason is the fact that scout is a tomboy and as she grows up she will have to learn to wear fancy dresses and corsets. These are the two most prominent signs of this novel being a coming of age novel.

     These three things are the reasons why To Kill a Mocking Bird is still being taught in school to this day.

Will Smith

     Will Smith is an odd actor that appears not to age. He is featured in many terrible movies such as After Earth and Wild Wild West.  After Earth got 11% on rotten tomatoes and Wild Wild West got 17%.  Most movies with Will Smith in them make me cringe.  Will Smith is not only weird in movies he is also quite odd looking.  Especially after I photoshop him.

     This first photoshop that I made was very easy to make. The first thing that I did was select his mouth and copy and paste it twice. After that I put his mouth in the place where his eyes would be and blended it in. After that I removed his eyebrows. And finally I selected both of his ears and enlarged them. Then I erased excess lines around the eyes and ears. Here is the final product.

     

     The next photo that I created is called "Will Smith on Crack" because he looks like he is on crack.

This photo terrifies me even though I made it. This photo took much longer than the first because I put a lot more effort into it. The first thing that I did to this photo was duplicate the background layer. After that I cut out the mouth on the duplicated Background Layer and carefully selected his head. Then I copied his head twice and put it inside of the cut out layer. Then I put the second copy inside of the smaller mouth and adjusted it a bit. After that I selected his right eye and turned it upside down in the place of his left and made both of his eyes red. Then I was finished.

Benedict Cumberbatch

      Benedict Cumberbatch is an actor that I personally really like. Benedict Cumberbatch is married and has a child on the way. He is a fairly new yet successful actor and is greatly known as the star of the show Sherlock. Since I like Benedict Cumberbatch I decided to photoshop him.

      The first thing I did to photoshop Benedict Cumberbatch was cut highlight his chin and mouth in order to copy and paste them. Then I carefully enlarged his mouth and put it in the correct position. After that I erased the edges and cleaned up the areas around the eyes so it blended in. After that I changed his eye color to a red and brown hue.  And to finish it all off I selected both of his eyebrows and enlarged them. Then I added a few little touches and got the final product. Here it is:

Ben Stiller

      Ben Stiller is a famous actor. He has starred in many great movies, one of my personal favorite movies that Ben Stiller has starred in is Zoolander. Ben Stiller is hilarious in this movie so I thought he would look pretty great photoshopped.  I started to photoshop Ben Stiller by making him look satanic, but then I realized he is pretty "shreky" so I would make him have more Shrek-like attributes. Here is how I made Ben Stiller more "shreky."

     First I found a good photo of Ben Stiller online, then I put it in to photoshop and made him more green. After that I made his eyes black by selecting the iris and changing the hue of it. Then I cut out his mouth and enlarged it. And finally I cleaned everything up and erased the rough edges. Here is the final product:

Gary Busey

For some reason Gary Busey annoys me immensely.  I do not know why he annoys me so much but he just does. I always have really disliked his teeth and mouth for some strange reason. They are too big or something. Gary Busey just seems so strange, it's like he gets under my skin. Since Gary Busey annoys me so much I decided to photoshop him.

I made this photo to show Gary's beautiful teeth. This photoshop job really makes his teeth stand out in order to show their true beauty. How I made this photo was first by cutting out his mouth and making it much bigger. After that i blended it it by erasing edges and by changing the color. The I went in with a paint tool and added an Anarchy symbol to his forehead. I think It really proves my point about his weird teeth.

Angelina Jolie

Angelina Jolie has such a big smile I just couldn't resist photoshopping her. She is one of those people that have a mouth that looks so huge. When people have smiles like this you can turn them into abominations so quickly. Also you can move their mouth to so many different places, it's amazing!!!

The first thing I did while making this photo was cut out the mouth. Then I pasted the mouth in two different places and I resized it. After that I cut out the nose and then flipped it upside down and made it fit. After that I colored the teeth and the lips a different color. Then I erased unnecessary bits and cleaned up around the eyes. After that I was done with my abomination.

Obama

Barack Obama is our first black president ever!! Obama is very easy to photoshop because there are so many pictures of him. He is also funny to photoshop because his face can just fit so well on anything. I can truly make him look ridicules any way I want, its wonderful!! I can make "beautiful" art with only Barack Obama's face. I can make abominations so simply, I love it!

The first thing I did to make this abomination was cut out the muscly dude. This took awhile because it had a very complicated background, but after I finished it looked much better than before. Then I cut out Obama's head and put it on the muscly dude's body. After that I added a Mom tattoo to the muscly dudes body and was finished. Here s the final product.

Justin BiebZ

Dammit, why has the BiebZ not been deported to Canada yet!?!?  Also what is with this kid and eggs, he has a fetish for eggs of all shapes and sizes. I really want to high-five the guy who through a water bottle at this kid, I would love to congratulate him.  The BiebZ needs to leave or just get more water bottles thrown at him. So what I did for my photoshop this week was photoshop Justin Bieber. Justin Bieber was very fun to photoshop because I could just make him look ridicules.  I made him into an abomination.

 Here is Satan Bieb, I don't know what is wrong with me.  How I made this was first I cut out the lips and made them super huge. Then I colored them purple and erased the unnecessary parts. After that I added devil horns and placed them in the correct spots. Then I made one of the ears really big and I did the same thing with the nose. After that I made the eyes red and cleaned everything up. Her is the finished product.

Miley Cyrus

      Miley Cyrus, the sweet Hanna Montana who went wild. Miley used to be a sweet little girl on an incredibly stupid show but now she is corrupted by licking things... Seriously what is with her and licking things? It's like she sees a hammer and the first thing she thinks is: I wonder what that would taste like? Why Miley, just WHY!?!  In Miley's big hit Wrecking Ball She swings half naked on a wrecking ball knocking things down. After that she choose to lick everyone in sight including a hammer and the wrecking ball chain. Her reasoning for doing this utterly confuses me too the point of exhaustion. Why would a person go down such a weird road? So I took my confusion and I made it into "beautiful" art work. These pieces are truly outstanding.

1: This first piece I made has Miley Cyrus pulled directly from the video Wrecking Ball.  I pulled this photo and then I carefully cut it making sure not to cut any thing off.  Then I took a photo of a godlike banana of the internet and also cut it out. After that I pieced the two photos together and made it so Miley's leg went behind the banana and did the same with her arm. Then I finally added the two photos onto a marvelous background and I was finished.

2: This next one makes me question my reality even more than I already do.  This next photo absolutely terrifies me,  it is another creepy abomination.  How I mad this abomination was by taking a simple picture of Miley Cyrus and making the eyes black. Then I removed the nose and eyebrows and put skin covering them. And after that I carefully cut out and added in a abnormally long tongue. Here is this horrible abomination. 

What the hell is wrong with me??

Kim Jong-Un

Kim Jong-Un

     Kim Jong-Un the wonderful supreme leader who loves cheese more than his own country. Kim Jong-Un has recently told he has to "slow down on the cheese" because he is getting very fat from it. This amazing man tried to launch a test nuke and almost destroyed South Korea!! Good job Kim Jong-Un!!! Kim Jong-Un it the living recreation of the little kid from the Disney movie Up, except instead of holding on to balloons he is tied to a nuclear bomb. This small little man is perfect to photoshop because he is so "photogenic". He is so beautiful in photos I assumed that the worst thing that could happen if I photoshopped him would be getting nuked, but the likelihood of that happening is next to nothing so I'm not that worried. Even if he tried to nuke me he would probably end up destroying his own country.

1: The first photo of Kim Jong-Un that I photoshopped originated with a picture of him riding on a horse. This brought the idea to mind to have him riding on a majestic animal (a.k.a a cat.) After I had cut out both him an a random cat I copied and pasted them onto a very amazing background. Then I added a Bullet Bill (from Mario) and last but not lease I added a rainbow in the background. Here is the final product.

2: I made this next one because Kim Jong-Un loves cheese so much, he also love himself. So I cut out Kim Jong-Un's face and put it on a picture of cheese. The I added more of Kim Jong-Un's faces and I added more cheese. Then I positioned everything correctly and made a true picture defining Kim Jong-Un's love, cheese and himself. Here is the final product.